Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Well, the boys are spending part of their Spring Break in Oklahoma, so it's been pretty quiet around here. Which is way terrific...especially for the first few hours. I love spending time with the hubby. But then he goes to work. Sure, I have big plans for how I'm going to spend my days alone. I'm going to do things for myself. Like shop for shoes. Or get a pedicure. But then I talk myself out of those things and all I'm left with is...too quiet. Which gets me to thinkin' about those blonde-haired boys who are making all their noise and fuss somewhere else for a few days. And I start to miss the noise and fuss. And I start to miss the boys. And I start to think about the things I miss about each of them.

And that gets me to thinkin', too...about what good kids they are -- warts and all. 

I'll start with Alex -- naturally, since he's the oldest. And probably the most like me. I miss his joking around and his contagious laugh. And his sensitivity. And the way he looks out for his brothers, even when he's ready to string them up by their ears.

And as for Ryan...I miss his sarcasm (which he gets from me and is still learning to use for good, not evil).  I miss seeing the sparkle in his green eyes when he's telling me about his latest "girlfriend." I know I'll regret this, but I even miss his constant requests to be allowed to play his drums or to download guitar tabs for "Back in Black."

Then there's Eli. Oh, Eli. I miss his laughter. And the way he loves to take care of the dog. And I miss seeing what he creates by taking apart toys and rebuilding them to be something else.

I'm sure next week, I'll be back to dreading the rock-n-roll jam sessions, the begging to take the dog around the block, and the pestering that makes little brothers mad. But for today, absence make the heart grow fonder. 

Boys will be boys -- Top 10

When people ask me about my kids and find out that I have 3 boys, they usually give me "the look." It seems to be a mix of shock and sympathy. Awe and anxiety. And then it's followed by the standard comment, "you must keep...busy." I'm used to it.

But I wouldn't have it any other way. For reasons that are too many to count. I know there must be some really great things about having daughters, but here's a sampling of the top 10 things I love about being the mother of sons:

10. They're cheaper to dress. Not by a lot, but cheaper, still

9. I never have to wait to use my own phone

8. We won't have to pay for any weddings

7. Not a lot of drama (usually)

6. They don't fight over the bathrooms

5. I don't have to braid anyone's hair, which is good, because I never was very good at it

4. Cool hobbies/interests, like forming bands and playing sports

3. If anyone messes with one brother, they get to deal with all of them

2. They're never to cool or too old to give mom a hug (I hope it lasts)

1. They'd do anything for their mother. Except maybe turn homework in on time, but we're working on it.

All good things...

...must come to an end. And so it is with Christmas Break. 

I'll head back to school on Monday. Although I love my job, it has been nice to have a couple of weeks off. This got me to thinking, it's been a pretty great "vacation." So, here's my Christmas Break Top Ten List:

10. Finally procuring a Chris Chelios, Detroit Redwings jersey for Alex on e-bay. Do you know how hard it is to find those things for less than $150? Do you know it's the only thing Alex told me he wanted for Christmas and I didn't have a back-up plan if I couldn't find one?

9. Hosting Eli's class pet, Roxie The Guinea Pig, for the holidays. She's a squeaky critter, and when his older brothers went around the house squeaking and claiming to communicate with her, Eli was not happy. "They're just jealous," he claimed.

8. Watching Ryan and his "mini-me" (cousin Payt) hanging out together. Walking the same way. Playing the same way. Using the same facial expressions. Scary.

7. Seeing the boys finally exercise some self-control when it comes to spending the Christmas cash (or giftcards, as the case may be). Instead of blowing it on all sorts of little things that fall by the wayside 3 days later, they waited until they could get what they've been asking for all year and bought it for themselves. See, they do listen to me every now and then.

6. Eli ordering a Nintendo DS online (see number 7). He got up and opened the front door about 12 minutes later. I asked what he was doing, and he said he was checking to see if his DS had been delivered yet. Obviously, he's not very familiar with the inner workings of online purchasing, nor with the United States Postal Service.

5. Quiet nights snuggled up on the couch with my hubby, watching movies. And not having to get up early the next morning.

4. The annual Christmas Eve chili dinner with my parents, siblings, and their families. Just like old times. Except we didn't watch "The Golden Child" this time, as was customary for us growing up. Sure, some families watch classics such as "It's a Wonderful Life" or "Miracle on 34th Street" (is that the right address?). Not us. Christmas Eve for us meant chuckling along with Eddie Murphy. Which is probably why I quote so many useless lines from the movie to this day.

3. The Christmas Day drive from Blanchard to Ponca City, OK, with my newly-acquired "30 #1 Country Hits of the 80s" 3 disc set blaring. Much to Alex's dismay. Nothing picks you up on a boring drive quite like The Gatlin Brothers and "All the Gold in California," right?

2. Eli's obsession with the pocket knife Robb gave him for Christmas. He's been looking for things to cut ever since he opened that thing. But the kicker was when he told us he couldn't wait to get back home from our Christmas trip so he could whittle. That's right, whittle. Eli is a 63-year-old man stuck in a 7-year-old body. Complete with cowboy boots and pants that are 3 inches too short.

1. Our 6-hour New Year's Eve Family Rock Band marathon and the boys cheering like crazies when they unlocked "Tom Sawyer." Forget Justin Timberlake and Brittany Spears. These boys were raised on Rush, Led Zeppelin, Tom Petty, Van Halen, and yes, even a little Gatlin Brothers every now and then for a well-rounded musical experience. 

Family is a state of mind

 Nanny Linda with her 5 grandsons.

Let me start by saying I'm blessed with a wonderful family...loving husband, three noisy yet kindhearted (except maybe toward each other) sons. Parents and siblings who've supported me through thick and thin. And grandparents who are still around to teach me how to make flaky pie crust and use backwoods Arkansan sayings like "useless as tits on a boar hog" with proper twang and intonation.

So I've never felt that I'm lacking in the family department, and it's a joy every time we get together.

But this year, I spent Christmas with my husband's family. And to borrow a Will Ferrell line, "it was glorious." Glorious because this group of people has been celebrating special occasions together for more than 40 years. And get this. They don't do it because they're actually related by blood or marriage. They do it because they choose to. By my understanding, it started when three friends, none of whom had many other family members in town, decided to get their husbands and kids together for holidays. Now those kids, who are more like siblings than childhood friends, are grown and are bringing kids of their own to the mix. And they're as close as any "family" I've ever known. 

Since Robb and I have only been married 3 years, the boys and I are relatively new to this extended family. But you wouldn't know it from the outside. They took us in immediately and made us one of them, as though we'd been a part of them all along. So now, along with the 4 super grandparents and 3 great-grandparents my kids have known and loved all their lives, there's a whole new set of grandparents to spoil 'em rotten: Nanny Linda, Grandpa Bob and Grandma Judy, Grandma Ann, and Papa Jack and Grandma Judy.

It's a true family, born of choice for them. And chance for me.